Tag Archives for self reflection

haYom asara yomim, sh’heim shavua echad ushlosha yomim, laOmer: tiferet she b’gevurah

“you should judge your neighbor righteously”

the “b’tzedek” here, in this quote from Leviticus 19:15, is translated righteously and not as justly to reflect our interinclusion for this day of the Omer, tiferet in gevurah, or balance, harmony, compassion in judgement, restraint, limitation.  tzedek can, of course, be both words, but the aspect of righteousness (NOT self-righteousness, mind you) is more balanced than ‘just’ may sometimes be seen as being.  we all know too well that what may be legally correct is not always a deep justice, ie, righteousness, but merely a thinner layer of justice…and we mean righteousness herein.

the question is whether our interinclusion of tiferet in gevurah calls on us to go further….perhaps requiring us to go as far as Yehoshua ben Perachia in saying, “judge everyone favorably” (Pirkei Avot 1:6). Rav Aryeh Levin once quipped (but with Torah intent) that G’d made everything for a purpose, even “krum svara”, ‘twisted logic’, served the purpose of helping us to always be able to judge another favorably, even in the most difficult circumstances!  and the Chafetz Chaim, perhaps the greatest master of the laws of avoiding evil speech,  goes even further, pointing out that lashon hara should be stopped at the level of unspoken thought.  to never pass a negative judgement in your mind is the ideal way to do the mitzvah of judging righteously.  even if the issue is 50-50, you must come down on the side of the good in your judgement….and even if it is MORE likely to be judged negative by a normal person, it would be better to leave the doubt in the matter unresolved in your mind.

and the Besht comes down even more strongly by pointing out that we are best at recognizing our own faults in others, hence, before we decide to judge another negatively, we should examine our own fault in the trait…..only after we have rectified it in ourselves are we ‘permitted’ to judge another. BUT even then the same compassion that we applied to ourselves we must apply to our neighbor, hence instead of judging, we focus on how we can most compassionately help the person improve as we ourselves did.

the negative judgement is left undone.

this is the effect of tiferet in gevurah.  the Sages teach us the way of savlanut (‘patience’):

“As G’d is called compassionate and gracious, so should you be compassionate and gracious; as G’d is called righteous, so should you be righteous; as G’d is called holy, so should you be holy. ”

(Sifre 85a)

when your greater goal is compassion, even your severity of judgement must be more situational than you might think to be ‘justice’.

mussar for tiferet she b’gevurah

tiferet-gevurah with another….bein adam l’chaveiro   in spite of giving the benefit of the doubt, we are also mitzvah bound to gently reprove another when they have clearly done wrong.  getting the right balance of restraint and release is the challenge.  be compassionate in reproving another who has wronged you….remember that there must be love even in discipline.

tiferet-gevurah with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo   we are subject to conflicting emotions within ourselves. how do we judge them? and judge between them?  take the core compassionate step and try to more deeply understand why your internal conflicts persist. find the validity in what you might have thought to be wrong….judge the persistence of the conflict within yourself favorably!

kabbalah for tiferet she b’gevurah

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion   we use harmony in discernment when we love through our self-restraint. …when we avoid the negative judgement if at all possible.  in Ashrei we learn that G’d “opens up G’d’s hand and satisfies every living thing,” even the evildoer.  consider how to approach your day with an open hand and not a clenched fist.

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   gevurah is also strength and power.  there are times when we have to correct misjudgement of another.  when we have to take responsibility for a wrong we did that others may not have known….these too are opportunities to get at tiferet by using gevurah.  consider whether there are ‘things unsaid’ or ‘wrongful thoughts to right’ that require strength of will on your part. visualize how you will approach them with compassion, then set out to do them.

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation  teshuvah (‘repentance and return to G’d’) requires supreme strength. asking forgiveness when one has allowed  i’m sorry to go unsaid for a long period demands great focus and diligent strength. yet we know that without it we cannot, simply cannot get ‘right’ with G’d. there is no crutch to fall back on.  tikkun olam (‘repair of the world’) requires more than anything else that we discern (an act of judgement) the balance that was lost in the brokenness of the world.  where is the discord and disharmony in your life?  can you, through greater tolerance–to yourself, to your neighbor, to your children, to your spouse–effect a repair? can you through restraint of judgement grow compassion in your heart, thereby learning not to harden your heart in ways you may be accustomed to?

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition    you may pray today the amidah. you will begin: “open my lips, G’d, that my mouth may declare Your Praise.”  do we ever ask thereafter to have them shut? to cut off praise? consider this.

kinyan 10 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Dibuk Chaverim….Closeness with Friends.  we did not mention it yesterday, but the day of gevurah in gevurah is also the day on which King David surrendered 7 sons of Shaul to the Gibeonites, who killed them and hung their carcasses up in public to ‘make amends’ for Shaul’s killing of Gibeonite civilians during the battles against David.  this is hard to understand…it is like Aharon’s making of the Golden Calf….and act we can scarcely imagine doing ourselves. of course, we were not in the situation and cannot walk in their shoes in their time, so can we judge?  however, David did do a positive good in the offspring of Shaul that he reserved from slaughter–Mephiboshet, son of Jonathan, grandson of Shaul, was not given over. why? out of respect for the bond between him and Jonathan….the closeness of friends even after death.:

“and it came to pass that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul….”  (1 Samuel 18:1)

in the love of friends, we may learn more about how to do the Torah of loving your neighbor as yourself.

haYom tish’a yomim, sh’heim shavua echad ushnei yomim, laOmer: gevurah she b’gevurah

chevrei: this one is for reb baruch. those who have the blessing on knowing him will understand.

“take time, be exact, unclutter the mind”

so taught the Alter of Kelm, r’ Simcha Zissel Ziv. this is probably the very best way to look at a double helping of constraint, don’t you think? generally, the trait of order is a middle way discussion, for gevurah she b’tiferet, perhaps, but the IRS granted all taxpayers an extension til 17 april to file, so what should have been g’vurah in gevurah on the night of filing your taxes by midnight, must change. you can see why it would have been just too much justice, yes? or just too much regulation…which itself is essence of gevurah. but look also what a little tiferet can do!  what a difference 2 extra days to file can make. oy.

but order is a practice born of restraint. a focusing of energy in order to keep on top of things. perhaps the surprise for some of you will be that the idea of order is a spiritual practice. but consider it only a little bit and you will see how shot through judaism is with order in practice. where would jewish prayer be without siddur (‘order’ of prayer).  what would all of us have done only 1 week ago had it not been for a seder (‘order’ of teaching/prayer for chag pesach day 1). who would want to go without the weekly sedra (‘order’ of readings).

but the simple gematria of samech-dalet-resh teaches us more, for it is equivalent to “miderech” (‘from the way’)of the phrase “miderech hatov l’heitiv” or the the way of the the good is to be meitiv…that is to “do good’ for others. the Ramchal (r’Moshe Chaim Luzatto) teaches that none other than G’d lives by this rule. so, if we want to make like G”d, we should partake of orderly practices and ordering practices. (by the way, moms out there may want to hold close to their hearts that the simple gematria is also the same as the hebrew word for ‘after them’, as a way of remembering that where order is not maintained you will find yourselves “cleaning up after them”….)

this is as earthy as it gets, chevrei.  keeping order is a good spiritual practice and not just a way to be ready for preparing your taxes….or keeping your desk functional, or your closet inviting.

a traditional part of the reasoning behind this, beside the obvious functional reasons for set times and set words and set calendar, etc, is that each of us is to be a ‘servant’ of G’d.  servants, as most of us middle class americans have long forgotten, are the folk who dwell in your midst to keep your vast and drafty manor house and grounds working well for entertaining the guests, making the meals and keeping down the dust and such.

being a servant to G’d is a little different. consider the way suggested by the kabbalists: that we are only here at all in order to effect tikkun olam, repair of the world. our servitude is in fixing what’s broken in this world and raising up the divine sparks in everything we encounter….sweeping up the lifeless husks that remain after a job well done.

gevurah in gevurah is a double helping of order….it is the way of the engineer in service of G’d. but it also teaches another thing we should be mindful of. what is the reason that we fall into ways of disorder?  too often we say “i don’t have time to do little ordering thing x because…….”   you can fill in the blank many ways, i suspect…i know i can. but look at this sad state of affairs….it is all ultimately about the “i” deciding that “i” want to do something else for “me.”  i’d much rather watch “Out of the Past” for the 10th time than to label a folder “2012 charitable contributions.” never mind that the latter will scarcely hold up the former….it’s just that i’m convinced that Robert Mitchum never filed a folder in his life….then again, the one i serve “orders the stars in the heavens according to G’d’s will.”  now how cool is that?

mussar for gevurah she b’gevurah

gevurah-gevurah with another….bein adam l’chaveiro  there are very important reasons to practice a lot of gevurah-gevurah in speech. it is the only way to avoid lashon hara (‘evil speech’), which is something many of us need to work on.  be very careful with your words today.  make sure that what you speak is useful, not hateful, not ill begotten, and preferably tinged with Torah.  mind your tongue.

gevurah-gevurah with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo   gevurah is also perseverance. it takes a good deal of it to do mussar and kabbalah every single day of the counting!  remember that you can continue to count even if you miss a day, but get your gevurah in gear and give a diligent count another go.

kabbalah for gevurah she b’gevurah

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion   some of you no doubt include breathing as part of your meditative practice. here is a simple one: know gevurah in breathing by focusing on filling your lungs with a deep breath. there is a very real limit as to how much volume we can inhale!  now ask yourself how your restraint and judgment influences your neshamah, the breathing soul, for the good. do you make strength in your limits? or do you need to expand your spiritual rib cage a bit?

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   you judge people daily. what do you find yourself judging them on? and against what standard?  contemplate what you should be focusing on in judging another, using informed discernment (instead of the feelings/impressions you may now be focusing on).

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation   build on the meditation in yetzirah….how do you celebrate the uniqueness, good and  wisdom you find in another?

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition   notice the simple act of ordering that ‘binds’ this prayer of reb Nachman to order….and to Omer. pray these words today with regard for gevurah:

“master of the universe/ unify my divided heart/ to love and revere Your Name./ for this is the purpose of my existence/ to bind together all the worlds/ both spiritual and physical/ and combine all divine names in 1 absolute unity./ in this way, Your Oneness will be revealed/ and shine forth. “

kinyan 9 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Shimush Chachamim….Hang with the Wise.  just being in the presence of the truly wise of the world is a better education in Torah.  a good rabbi/chacham will teach more in the simple modeling of behavior, practice, and spiritual traits than any other.  when you study from a book, it is human and page.  when you study with a wise teacher, the same information on the page will run out in mighty tributaries like rivers out of Eden.  consider how it is put in Pirkei Avot:

“one who studies alone is no match for one who studies with a master”

go find yourself a master and spend some time. you will learn as you have never imagined.

haYom sh’mona yomim, sh’heim shavua echad v’yom echad, laOmer: chesed she b’gevurah

” a Torah scholar must learn 3 things: writing, ritual slaughter, and circumcision”

so we learn in Talmud, Hullin 9a, that a wise scholar, a talmid hakham, must be not only a rabbi, but also a sofer, a shochet, and a mohel.  the wise must master both pen and sword. as he wields the pen, the talmid may but incisive, cutting in distinctions with understandings. creating worlds of severity as easily as words of gentleness. we in the west hold that the pen is mightier than the sword, that the power of words is so great that it can bring about cessation of war.  mere words, no matter how old, in something like the US Constitution, can control the actions of the most mighty military on the planet currently.

so it is in Torah. you must offer words of peace before you besiege or sack a city (Deuteronomy 20:10-12; Leviticus 7:11).  the ways of Torah are pleasant and all its paths peace.

consider the parallel but somewhat different way of bushido, requiring the samurai to be proficient at both pen and sword, anchoring them most memorably in the death poem that would be written immediately before the ritual self-disemboweling of seppuku. a striking 14th century example from Shiaku Nyudo:

“holding forth this sword/ i cut vacuity in twain;/ in the midst of the great fire,/ a stream of refreshing breeze.”

but i cannot imagine the prophet Jeremiah, in whose bones burned the Word of G’d (20:9), taking up a sword to release the great fire within him. instead he opened his mouth and spoke forth in gevurah, pointing out that Israel had sinned its way into its sorry state, but giving also the balm of promised deliverance.

in the wielding of the sword of the shochet, the word comes first in blessing. the killing of animals for food and for sacrifices is a divine compromise with the bloodlust of humankind from the time of Noach. we are all gevurah in our desire for meat.

we are all chesed, however, in the rules of slaughter. the knife must kill with a single carefully placed and swiftly drawn stroke. the blade used must be minutely inspected for nicks and other irregularites before use and AGAIN immediately afterward.  the slightest flaw is thought to be able to give pain to the animal being killed. if flaw is found after the cut, the carcass is rendered treif, ‘torn’ and not kosher for consumption by jews. such carcasses will instead be sold to nonjews, unless, of course, they are following the same stringent guidelines.

the injection of chesed into gevurah makes us careful molders of our moral world (with physical effects in the case of slaughter). we are locked into the interplay between the two. even if we elect not to eat meat, kosher or otherwise, we require kosher parchment for mezuzot and Torah scrolls, and kosher leather for t’fillin.  the emergence of eco-kashrut adds yet another set of considerations into our moments of gevurah, of stern consumption and taking; a chesed, loving-kindness, for the environment on a larger scale than that of the intimacy of shochet and animal. every bit of consumption we do, all of which is the product of consuming selection, measurement, technological repurposing, and a taking, must come under strictures of caring for what is consumed.

chesed in gevurah is symbolized beautifully in the touch of circumcision, a cutting that is the seal-making of covenant. it is the sword made into a pen to mark the covenantal agreement in each generation. seppuku of foreskin.

mussar for chesed she b’gevurah

chesed -gevurah with another….bein adam l’chaveiro   the Rabbis teach that the court that sentences any to death more than once in 70 years is cruel, yet the death penalty is not forbidden. it is the way it is used–more importantly–the merciful (chesed) seeking of ways not impose it that matters.  we learn that ‘cruel and unusual punishment’ is forbidden through the standard of loving your neighbor as yourself. painless as you would want your own death should be the death of another….if die anyone must.  when you feel wronged, you are exercising gevurah, but G’d decided at the time of Creations that the world could not survive in strong justice alone. extend forgiveness to one who has hurt or offended you today.

chesed-gevurah with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo   our everyday actions have effects beyond what we anticipate, and the direction of those effects can be either good or bad. when you take a decision, any decision, you are exercising the power of your judgment, your spirit in gevurah. are you being careful to decide with both good and bad unexpected consequences in mind?  consider carefully how people may view your actions, for nothing you do has effect only on you. seek to act in the world today in ways that will be kiddush haShem, that is, that will project the holiness of the Name of G’d into the minds of those around you.

kabbalah for chesed she b’gevurah

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion   most of you are returning to eating chametz after the constraint of matzah for the last week. you are now free and you may enjoy the taste of freedom. but lessons learned through restraint during Passover should linger thereafter. meditate on the ways restraint should work to mold freedom….and savor both the blessing and the taste of that first piece!

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   in the aleinu prayer, we refer to G’d as ‘yotzer breishit‘, the former of Creation. this suggest not a momentary blast of power, but a contemplative manipulation of the stuff of creation.  we create ourselves by way of manipulating our own feelings, modulating between decision making, and letting decisions be made for us.  contemplate on when you have exercised your own power in forcing a decision. have you ever felt better after not taking a decision that you once thought unavoidable?

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation   the famous house of Shammai was said to be always very strict in assessing halachah. the house of Hillel was said to have been more liberal in its decisions on how we should behave.  yet we are told that both opinions are correct, both left and right of the tree are correct. study some Torah and then imagine a strict way of interpretation and a liberal way.  meditate on how you will bring both to bear in your own thoughts and actions.

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition  “kol haneshamah tehallel y-h, halleluyah” how do you hallel, praise G’d now? do you quietly mouth the words in the siddur, relying on silence to carry you message? do you sing out loud to push your words heavenward? do you shout the primal holler?  cry tears that flow to G’d?  try a method today that is not your usual way. try one that your sense of decorum does not allow usually, and learn from it.

kinyan 8 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Taharah….Purity.  Rambam teaches (Moreh Nevuchim) that we are where our mind is. if we are thinking G’dly thoughts, we are closer to him than when we are dreaming of material pleasures….or planning our next consumer purchase.  the mind is where we both glean words of Torah and develop teachings. it will only be as ritually fit for that purpose as we keep it so.  we wear tzitzit to keep from following our eyes into paths of thought that are unworthy, let alone to keep from acting in ways that are hillul haShem (profanation of the Name of G’d).

“those who love a pure heart and are gracious in speech will have the King as a friend”

(Proverbs 22:11)

how important is it to keep loading our brain with the good? consider the story told by the followers of Kotzk:

once a person came up to the Kotzker Rebbe saying that his prayers are always interrupted by ‘foreign thoughts.’  the Kotzker Rebbe turned in surprise and said plainly, ‘foreign thoughts? they are not foreign. they are your own!

hayom shiv’a yomim, sh’heim shavua echad, laOmer: malchut she b’chesed

CHEVREI: quick note to point out that we count now by days and weeks. we have tallied the first week with tonight’s counting! baruch haShem.  for cbs’ers, we will not meet this sunday….there’s no room at the inn! chag sameach and shabbat shalom….r’av yo

“for from You is all, and from Your hand we have given to You”

David haMelech, who exemplifies rectified malchut (‘sovereignty’) points this out in 1 Chronicles 29:14.  we see immediately that even the great king has nought which to give save that which is given him by G’d.  in malchut the left-side sefirot flow most keenly to create a ‘negative’ space (not a downer space!), a receiving space, which the giving flow of the right-hand sefirot promptly fills.  and what of the middle road down the tree through tiferet and yesod?  well, self-consciousness, a balanced and rectified awareness is the marker of the middle path in the decidedly female directed malchut.

so we see in malchut she b’chesed the work of the left-side in creating the cleared path that is needed to walk with G’d, and the work of the right-side in naturally flowing in that cleared path with a rush of goodness, and the balanced, steady harmony of the middle flow elevating the clearing and filling into wholeness.

malchut in chesed is full ripeness of chesed, channeled now as it must be, but flowing freely in a position of power, operative in the wholeness of harmony in sovereignity. wow. that was a sentence, eh?

what it means for us in the count today is that we have achieved a week of the count. why is that significant? because the mitzvah is to count the weeks complete, that is, whole. shalem, shalom. entire. and because we are blessed this year with a special calendar alignment of the shabbat with the counting of the weeks, we will all be welcoming malchut as the sabbath bride herself.  it is a perfect, complete week. baruch haShem. shabbat oneg (joy) and shabbat menuchah (contentment) rule in chesed this week.  make this a giving, ripe shabbat for all around you.  rule your shabbat with wave-rolling, righteous-aware loving-kindness, and bring it out of shabbat with you when you re-enter the coming week, for the count continues on the other side in the sefirah of gevurah.

mussar for malchut she b’chesed

malchut-chesed with another….bein adam l’chaveiro   what would a regal but giving malchut be?  perhaps one who would not begin shabbat rest without designating a certain act of loving kindness to run out from shabbat into the week. perhaps a special set aside of tzedakah to be delivered after shabbat? the JUF is at cbs this sunday, i believe…an opportunity, perhaps.  or maybe an organizing of time in the coming week…to spruce up the cbs section of the cemetary?  wrangling the efforts of others to do chesed shel emet?

malchut-chesed with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo    during the week of the song of the sea, we frequently the story of nachman ben aminadav, who took the first leap (the very meaning of ‘pesach’ after all is leap, not “pass”, but leapover) into the void created by the pulled-back waters. there is chesed shel emet, for only with a perfect faith could nachman have known that he would even survive the step!  be a nachman! take a leap and risk drowning in your shabbat rest this week. just do it!

kabbalah for malchut she b’chesed

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion  on shabbat, of course, the completion rules and the doing eases into deliberately limited classes. Deuteronomy teaches us something important about the ruler that the People will elevate: “when the ruler is seated on the royal throne, the ruler shall have a copy of this Torah written for the ruler alone on a scroll …let it remain with the ruler and let the ruler read in it throughout life, so that the ruler may learn to revere G’d…”  study Torah this shabbat as though your understanding of it would set the standard for the kingdom, and know that your own lifestyle would be the model for all around you.  are you a worthy ruler?

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   G’d is Melech haOlam. this shabbat you are in malchut of your locus in the universe.  you are struck in the image of royalty, right?  well, enjoy being a daughter or son of the royal family today. you have unique access to the melech haolam, delight in it….nap the nap of a queen, eat with the hearty lust of a king….and feel the possibility of whole (and wholesome) power of the divine within you.

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation   a royal can decree things.  your domain this day is shabbat, so issue an edict that a new blessing is to be said. write a blessing, or  a psalm as did David haMelech…he wrote well more than a hundred! but he started with just 1.

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition   malchut is a receptacle to be filled and overfilled so as to share the bounty with all the People. “You prepare a table for me in the midst of my adversity and moisten my head with oil. surely my cup is overflowing and goodness and kindness will follow me all the days of my life. and in the long days beyond, i will always live within You house.”  G’d’s house here on earth is shabbat, so meditate on letting the wholeness of shabbat overflow into your weekday life….to always live in G’d’s house.

kinyan 7 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Simcha….just plain Joy.  acquire the Torah in Psalm 5:12…and be embraced by joy:

“but as for me–bathed in Your encircling kindness i enter your house, bow myself down before Your Presence in awe and wonder…then all who put their trust in You will rejoice….will shout out their joy in your protection…will exult in You all who love Your unsayableness.  for You bless the faithful, circling around them round like a shield.”

haYom chamisha yomim laOmer: hod she b’chesed

like a fragrant apricot tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved

this verse from Song of Songs is said to speak of the humble person, someone seeming small but splendid, amidst the ubiquitous climax forest trees.  judaism has a special relationship with trees that is rather unique in the ancient world, for rather than worshipping tall and mighty trees, the jews favored the apricot, the almond, the olive…all of them small, all of them fruit bearing, all of them fragrant in bloom. and this may help us understand  how the sefirah of hod can represent both humility and also splendor….and ultimately, gratitude (‘hodu’ is the hebrew word for ‘thanks’, after all).

no soul trait is more valued in jewish teaching than anavut, ‘humility.’  for the humble person is above all always grateful for what he/she has–and this is more important–the humble person knows from the core that there are others in the universe,  and that the earth is not theirs, but rather belongs to the Holy One, blessed be.

we wonder at the beauty and the fragrance of the humble blossom, each destined to last but a short time, but whose ultimte effect in the world is, well, the continuance of the world!  existence itself depends on those blossoms and the intoxicating affects they have on pollinators and the rest of us…feeding first the bees and later, through the fruits that grow out of them, the rest of us.

Torah tells us that Moshe was “very humble, more that any man who was on the face of the earth,” yet there was in fact one even more humble still.  Moshe’s job prevented him from being the clear paragon of humility he could otherwise have been…leading the People required he be huge in presence, his face veiled to conceal the gleam that the face-to-face presence of G’d had left as a permanent residue on his face.  and because hod in chesed points to the splendor of varied interrelationships, you will not be surprised whose humility surpassed the of Moshe…though unmentioned.  hod is the sefirah of Aharon, Moshe’s brother, the one who G’d knew would “rejoice in his heart” (Exodus 4:14) that his younger brother would be the earthly leader of the redemption of the People.  think about that.  how many other cases of the younger brother not struggling with the elder do we see before this?  hod in chesed is love without competition….speak for me, Aharon, and Aharon did…take my staff and initiate this plague…and he did….it was Aharon who pleaded with Moshe to pray for their sister’s healing.  quiet chesed.

Moshe knew this as we see in the test of Korach and crew.  Moshe specifically set the test to be the bringing of ketoret (incense) and to bring staffs to see which would blossom.  well, the fragrant ketoret was the exclusive domain of Aharon….when there was plague in the People, Aharon was called upon to bring the curative fragrance.  only he could bring incense after the inauguration of the Mishkan (not even his sons Nadav & Avihu could bring it without his bidding).  and whose staff blossomed and then brought forth fruit?  yep, the staff of Aharon.  it was not Moshe’s victory over Korach, but rather Aharon’s! and the ultimate sign?  the perpetual blossoming almond branch. the blossoms’ fragrance a perpetual bringer of joy, scent being the symbol of the soul inside the body…the great spiritual sense of humankind.

we are told to model ourselves after Aharon–the peacemaker, master of hod in chesed, Baal haAnavut–and not after Moshe Rabbeinu!  oh, and what do the Rabbis teach will be the most prominent physical characteristic of Moshiach?– “a splendid fragrance.”

mussar for hod she b’chesed

hod-chesed with another….bein adam l’chaveiro   buy a friend, a lover…anyone who is your better half in some way… some flowers (or pick some!) and make clear to them that you are simply not complete without them.

hod-chesed with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo   ‘so just call on me, brother, when you need a hand, we all need somebody to lean on…i might just have a problem that you’d understand…we all need somebody to lean on.’  put aside your ego and ask someone for help.

kabbalah for hod she b’chesed

we have a special mitzvah that will take us from assiyah through atzilut….and even higher! a great rectification!  it is Nisan, and in this month, we have a special mitzvah beyond the normal passover matzah (that you’ve had up to here by now, i know).  it is a great hiddur to say the blessing on the first flowering of the fruit trees in Nisan….and this year we have blossoms at just the right time!  baruch haShem

go out today and find 2 or more flowering fruit trees (or an orchard if you have one nearby) so that you can recite the Birkat haIlanot. it goes like this:

Blessed are You, haShem, Master of the universe, for G’d left nothing lacking in G’d’s universe, and  created in it good creatures and good trees, giving pleasure through them to the children of Adam.

ok, you say, so i see how this is in the world of doing, assiyah, and in the realm of physical creation.  but how do we get to atzilut and beyond?   easy peasy!  Arizal taught that certain souls reincarnate into vegetation, especially into trees.  we can release these souls by saying the birkat haIlanot!  it is, therefore, considered a great act of chesed to say this particular blessing, for such entrapped neshamot cannot be elevated without our help.  doing this mitzvah is said to hasten the coming of the messianic times, for the new jerusalem will be built due to brotherly love  without competition, facilitate by the simple kindness of recognizing the importance of the lowly blossom.

kinyan 5 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Anavut….Humility   well, that’s convenient, eh?  Rav Kook teaches that true humility can only be had by one with righteous self-esteem.  not ego and audacity, but the recognition of your true spirtual position in the world.  you are created in the image of G’d, and you are expected “to do justice, love kindness and walk humbly with your G’d.”  each soul must be of some real worth if that is the expectation. recognizing that you are born to walk with G’d should build everyone’s self-esteem, but knowing that all of your fellows are likewise should keep you from thinking yourself better. Rabbi Bunam nimbly teaches: “only the humble are able to comprehend the highness of G’d.  we read (Psalms 138:6) ‘G’d is high, and the lowly see it.’

 

haYom sh’losha yomim laOmer: tiferet she b’chesed

“Father of Compassion, favor Zion with your goodness”

think about it. at the beginning of the Torah reading service on shabbat morning we exultantly say “who is like You?” and then ” You are master, You were master, You will be master for eternity…G’d will give Israel strength…and bless his People with peace”  and then suddenly the niggun gets darker, almost pleading  “av harachamim…”

but wait. this sounds like a petitionary prayer….on shabbat? nu?

if ever known in your life, if even once, you know why compassion is so important that we crave it even during the otherwise peace and contentment of shabbat.  for  the sefirah of tiferet, ‘compassion, harmony, balance, beauty’ is on the mainline from haShem, the first full station stop in the central trunk of the tree.  tiferet is the sure-footed balancing of chesed and gevurah, neither too free nor too tight, but just right.

the hebrew rachamim is powerfully associated with death in many prayers…the kel molei rachamim….the full av harachamim….compassion is what one needs in hard times when the tendency is too easily to go gevurah (why did this one have to die? it isn’t fair), or too easily toward the loving-kind (it is a terrible thing…i know exactly how you feel…i lost my uncle bernie when i was 6…).  the prayer for compassion is a prayer for return to harmony in life.

if ever balanced, if ever truly living  compassion toward others, you will ever strive to get back to it when you tilt to extremes…..we know center when we feel it.  and we know the divine in ourselves when feel empathy for the situation of another AND also know just what to do…not too soft…not too hard…just right.  not too much good inclination, and not too much bad inclination.

the kabbalists teach that the central sefirot tend ever so slightly toward the right-side of the tree, a gravitational sort of attraction, so tiferet naturally ranges toward chesed. but the tending has no fixed point, so maybe it is more like the probability function….a region closer to chesed in which compassion is likely to be found.

and that feeds into another important aspect of tiferet: the readiness is all.  to be compassionate, one must be ready to do what is needed in the situation.  sometimes, as when visiting the sick, it is to speak and give cheer; other times, as when visiting the mourner, it may be to sit in silence.  the compassionate jew is one who is ready and nimble.

mussar for tiferet she b’chesed

tiferet-chesed with another….bein adam l’chaveiro   visit the sick with a smile.  smile upon the well. “greet every human with a cheerful and pleasant countenance” (Pirkei Avot 1:15), for it is the basic compassion.

tiferet-chesed with yourself…bein adam l’atzmo    this week we are all foregoing chametz as a matter of mitzvah and religious practice.  but as a special practice today, forego something else in empathy with others who simply don’t have.

kabbalah for tiferet she b’chesed

in assiyah….the world of doing/complation   these days, we take something like pride in being multi-taskers.  but research is beginning to show that multi-tasking is too often a matter of shortchanging everything…it is not necessarily more productive.  we end up astounded that we finish everything….but what if i asked you to be compassionate in all the many things you are doing?  would that interfering with the “getting things done”? consider which should matter more….and be sure you multi-task something just for you into your routine today….to keep yourself balanced, for from there you can extend harmony outward.

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   worry is anathema to compassion. worry is by definition out of balance, and usually a cramping in gevurah.   we parents give youngins timeouts to get things back in manageable range. why do we think it won’t work for us as well?  go ahead, give yourself a timeout–you deserve it!  meditate on the centrality of compassion in G’d, and see yourself as a potential piece of the expression of G’d’s compassion here in Creation.  are you in harmony with creation?

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation   r’ kantrowitz teaches us that we sometimes know compassion best in our friendships.  friends can observe flaws in each other and help correct them with compassion–and meet a compassionate response!  this is the full beauty of tiferet in a way.  so remember a time when you were a really good friend and knew exactly what to do and say because you were deeply empathetic in your feelings and hopes for your friend.  now what would it take to extend that to others?

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition  tiferet can be in the bond of mates in love making. it can be in the cooldown  following exercise.  chazal took time to prepare before prayer so as to be in tiferet before uttering a word….and they remained silent after prayer for a time to hold onto the compassion that had been given them through prayer.  find your time for ‘afterglow’ and use it to instill balance from which you can live the rest of the day.

kinyan 3 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Arichat S’fatayim….Speak-Teaching   the Vilna Gaon would stress the learning of Mishlei (Proverbs) in his first year students at yeshiva specifically so that they would be able to go out and teach others.  and he would require that they teach orally both in reading the text and in explaining it.  speaking what you learn is the balance between learning on your own and being able to hear, truly hear what is being taught. hence, taught the Gaon, the learning of Mishlei brings forth 2 gifts: a gift of adam l’chaveiro when each student goes out to share and reteach what is learned, and a gift of G’d l’adam for the Holy One is inspired by the character improvements that the learning brings to the students and responds immediately from his rachamim to assist all who teach and all who study. the character improvements are a surefire way to awaken G’d’s compassion!  So speak up and teach!

sefirat haOmer T-3: one way or another, you’re gonna find you

2 ways of counting: days and then weeks and days. and 2 ways of making it count more: mussar and kabbalah. it’s not at all that they are divorced from each other, and we will be doing a bit of both over the course of the 49 days. but i thought we should know a tad more about why we are doing a bit of each.

the way of mussar

the mussar way is based on contemplative practices, actions mapped to each day.  simply put, you do each spirit exercise in order to focus on and then clear away the accretions of habits, leanings, and just plain imbalances that prevent the inner light of your soul from shining forth.  just as in mainstream kabbalah, the crucial understanding is that each of us is a soul yearning for the G’dly.  hence it should be no surprise to any of us that major kabbalistic thinkers often are associated with the most powerful mussar texts….

and we are reminded of that  today as it just happens to be the yahrtzeit of r’ yosef karo, master halachist and kabbalist who worked no small amount of mussar  (derech eretz) into the weft of the warp he is best known for, the Shulchan Aruch.

there are a couple of touchstones for mussar in sefirat haOmer.

one springs from the Pirke Avot 6:6 where we learn that there are 48 kinyanei Torah, ie, 48 ways to acquire Torah.  48 is mighty close to 49, and the plan is to study 1 of the 48 each day of the counting, leaving the 49th day for review of the lot. we will touch on one of the kinyanim (or middot) each day.

the other approach stems from r’ elazar’s teaching, also in Avot, that the most important middah is a lev tov (a good heart), which has a gematria of 32.  so on each of the first 32 days of sefirat haOmer we will dwell on actions that improve relations ben adam l’chavero (between person and person), using the last 17 days to do mitzvot ben adam l’makom (between man and G’d).  those of you who remember lag b’omer, ie, the 33rd day of omer, will immediately see that it would correspond to the day on which the work changes from the human-human sphere to the human-divine sphere.  a lot of you may also notice that this 2-part approach parallels the work of the Days of Awe, during which we set things right with people before we can finish the setting aright with G’d.  we’ll try to honor this approach as well during the sefirah.

the way of kabbalah

the kabbalistic way is polymorphic, but focuses on a more purely mystical meditation or hitbonenut. we will try to relate each interincluded day (interinclusion is the all in one idea that each sefira comprises all the other sefirot within it) of the count to meditations rooted in the spiritual levels of the 4 worlds:

assiyah…the world of completion/doing associated with nefesh (the indwelling/resting soul)

yetzirah…the world of formation associated with ruach (the free will/turbulent soul)

b’riyah…the world of creation associated with neshamah (the renewable/breathing soul)

atzilut…the world of nearness to G’d associated with chayah (the life-force/living essence soul)

we will examine/contemplate on aspects of our existence that allow for the soul to shine forth and rise up through the levels of the worlds to get closer to our root in G’d.  ideally, these contemplative exercises will dovetail into the mussar practices more days than not!

so that is the sheaf of mindblowing, soulglowing methods we will ripen into for each of our days, shredding the husks that confine us as we swell in soul…nurturing our individual hearts of wisdom….readying better selves for the receipt of Torah again in Shavuot.

sefirat haOmer T-5: all in one, one in all

Norman Fischer seems to grasp the counting of the Omer in his lovely translation of Psalm 90:12:

“help me understand how to count my days…how to embrace my life…that i may nourish a heart of wisdom”

we have to count the days, AND we have to count the weeks.  it isn’t a simple count that gets you to a heart of wisdom, it seems.  oh, and that ‘how to embrace my life‘ part isn’t literally in the hebrew of the psalm at all….but boy is it ever in sefirat haOmer, in the understanding of counting the days.

we have to cycle and cycle again…7 days per week, 7 weeks (each of 7 days) for the whole of sefirat haOmer.  and in each day we have a reciprocating cycle of interactions of sefirah that is in sefirah.  7 paired interactions, 1 pair per day,  of sefirot in each other ; every week focusing on another of the sefirot as the dominant aspect of the week, and working through the 7 sets of interactions each has with each other.

chesed with gevurah with tiferet with netzach with hod with yesod with malchut….working through each interaction down the tree…but simultaneously up from selflessness in chesed to majesty in malchut.

so while we will follow the interaction of each sefirah in every other sefirah as we move down the lower 7 of the etz chaim, we will with every day of week add up to a week. we move down the sefirot as we count up the days…not unlike the angels of Yaacov’s vision of the ladder:

“….and here, messengers of G’d were going up and down on it'” (Genesis 28:12)

up and down, back and forth, each in each to each from each.  our messengers from G’d are found in the way we interact with ourselves and the world, for in our spiritual character, our emotional responses, our ethical ways of interacting that we find our clear vision of G’d in the world.  it is in the aspects of ourselves as affected by all else that we find the image of G’d in which we have been uniquely created.

to sum up, we perceive G’d in the world according to how we relate with the world in all its myriad differences.

let’s make it simple, yes? say we have a family of 7, from 2 grandparents through 2 parents with 3 kids.  we will be exploring the affect of the grandfather on himself, the grandmother on the grandfather, the father on the grandfather, the mother on the grandfather, the eldest child on the grandfather, the middle child on the grandfather, and the youngest child on the grandfather.  that is 1 week. then we do the same with each on the grandmother, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.

we all of us understand that each is affected by every other in a family, right?  and maybe that the dynamic of the interactions between them is more than the mere sum of the parts?  each of us is more than just the sum of our encounters with each other and the world…..but in each encounter all are touched, and from each touch we affect our next touch of another…up and down, back and forth, cycling each in each to each from each.

hugs all round, i say, and somewhere in that embrace of life we will each find that heart of wisdom that we were born to nourish.

sefirat haOmer T-6, but not yet counting

today we start to countdown to the time we begin to count up…again…as Leviticus 23:15 requires we should:

“You shall count for yourselves…from the day when you bring the Omer of the waving…7 weeks, they shall be complete.”

we count up 49 days and the 7 weeks from the night of the second day of Pesach (feast of passover) right up to the night before the festival of Shavuot (feast of weeks…get it?!)…itself the 50th day.  jubilation!

the simple mitzvah is literally to say a blessing and count each night for the full 7 weeks. you will find the text of the blessing and the formula for the counting the Omer in just about any siddur….take a look. now, we have been minding these 49 days every year since the exodus from egypt, for we know from Torah that it took 49 days for the People to reach Sinai and to encounter the beginning of the Torah journey that has been our walk ever since.

but numbering alone hasn’t been enough for spiritual jews for centuries.  the Israelites began the work of walking out of spiritual bondage into freedom, and since then we have seen the time between Pesach and Shavuot as a long march of self-reflection and self-redirection–‘count for yourselves’–much like the instruction to Avraham Avinu to ‘lech l’cha’ or ‘go toward yourself”.  it is a time for reaching into our emotions, our opinions, our acts and efforts…for reaching into our very souls.  we try to build up our character traits; build up our prayer ability;  build up our ability to love one another; build up our ability to be closer to G’d.  we build our abilities to ascend Sinai one day at a time; week by week.

and the kabbalists among us recognized that the  7 weeks corresponded to the 7 ’emotional’ sefirot from chesed through malchut.  each week is associated with 1 major sefirah:  and since each sefira contains the aspects of all the others, each day focuses on the affect of another of the 7 sefirot on that week’s major sefirah.  for those of you with the tree of life in hand, take a look.  we will speak more of the plan in the day’s leading up to Pesach.

what we will try to do this season here at walkinTorah is offer thoughts, meditations, emotional and spiritual exercises…and encouragement!… to help all of us reach into ourselves daily in order to open out to the world of G’d’s creation more fully as each day and each week passes.

for those who are members of congregation beth shalom–and you know who you are–we will try to meet each sunday morning EXCEPT on 8 April 2012, which is the the second day of Pesach (and the first day of the Omer count), to share the week past and prep for the week to come.  for those who join us but can’t do the face-to-face meetings, we’ll try to make sure that enough information is published daily on walkinTorah to help you keep up the pace.

let us go then, you and i, when the evening is spread out against the sky…..and learn to measure out our lives in more than coffee spoons!