Tag Archives for loving kindness

days of repentance: 24 Elul

“who is a rose? assembly of Israel. for there is a rose, and then there is a rose! just as a rose among thorns is colored red and white, so Assembly of Israel includes judgment and compassion. just as a rose has 13 petals, so Assembly of Israel has 13 qualities of compassion surrounding Her….”

the introduction to the book of Zohar begins thus (pritzker edition, 1:1a), and evolves universes thereafter. but this opening is particular important to the People Israel (Assembly of Israel) as it gathers itself together worldwide, always facing Jerusalem, for the prayers of the Day of Judgment (Rosh haShanah) and the Day of Compassion (Yom Kippur). the 13 petals of the rose, derived from Song of Songs 2:2, is said to map against the 13 Compassionate Attributes of G’d, themselves derived from Exodus 34:6-7, as codified in Talmud (Rosh haShanah 17b).

“haShem, haShem, G’d, showing-mercy, showing-favor, long-suffering in anger, and abundant in loving-kindness and truth, keeping loving-kindness to the thousandth [generation], bearing iniquity, rebellion and sin,  clearing”

“clearing” those who do t’shuvah, and not “clearing” those who don’t, at least in many readings. the reading we offer on the Days of Awe simply stops with clearing (13)…..and Chazal go on to tell us that “whenever Israel sins, they ought recite this, and I [G’d] will forgive”. so you tell me now: what’s in a word? how bout in 13?

talk about a lucky…no, not lucky…rather blessed number. perhaps we will talk more about words and speech tomorrow, on the birthday of Creating…..the emergence of yesh (stuff) from ayin (no-thing)…

but today, 24 Elul, the day before the traditional date of creation, 25 Elul, is considered in kabbalah to be the “Shabbat” that blesses all Creation. the ayin (nothing, not-doing, not-controlling) state of shabbat being the base out of which all the hurly burly of universese springs. the relationship between t’shuvah and a sort of shabbat pre-existing all we know, all we live, wherein we work, is important. both things partake of G’dliness, and are holy in their separation from Creation…at least in their original root existence.

each offers a taste of the world to come during the duration of the world that is, so long as WE MAKE IT SO by walkin the way of the 13 alongside the Waymaker. on 24 Elul we do t’shuvah for the month of Nisan, the month of liberation, of passing over, of becoming the Assembly of Israel.

oh, and by the way, 24 Elul is also the traditional day on which Noah sent out the dove a second time. it is from this sending that the dove returns with an olive branch. life, once again, is good.

dwell on the 13 between now and Rosh haShanah. find ways to be, just be, powerful, showing, long suffering, overflowing, keeping, bearing and clearing. how many can you fit into your t’shuvah where you find yourself now?

ketiva v’chatima tovah

 

 

haYom sh’nayim v’esrim yom, sh’heim sh’losha shavuot v’yom echad, laOmer: chesed she b’netzach

“has the kindness of netzach disappeared forever?”

this is how r’ Joseph ben Abraham Gikatilla, 13th century kabbalist and student of Abulafia, translates Psalm 77:9, doubling down on the significance of the “l’netzach” as both the sefirah of the name and the sense of eternity or forever.

the king james version in contrast, translates it (remember it is verse 8 in christain bibles) more colloquially as “is His mercy clean gone for ever?”—imagine!  “clean gone” used to be the king’s english!!!

but back to Gikatilla, who was reading very carefully, for the next verse goes on “is His promise come to an end for evermore?”  ‘forevermore’ is “l’dor vador”, which we usually translate as ‘from generation to generation’, even though that is not a close reading. but, thinks Gikatilla, if “l’dor vador” means eternity, than what is meant by the use of “l’netzach” in the first part of the verse?

being a good kabbalist, he immediately associates the presence of the word “chesed” (‘loving-kindness’) with netzach with more than just an expression of eternity. netzach is also victory, and we know that G’d’s victory does not change…

“the Netzach of Israel [G’d] shall not deceive and not regret (read shall not change His mind), for He is not a man who regrets” (1 Samuel 15:29)

chesed is directly connected to netzach on the right side of the sefirotic tree. the effects of chesed need not even pass through tiferet (the 3rd sefirah of the chesed-gevurah-tiferet triad), so they are very direct and exert great influence on the work of netzach. the persistence of netzach, the power of it,  is not to be regretted anymore than that of  loving-kindness. only the dark side would even consider taking the eternity away.

so, how do we work with this chesed-netzach nexus in the first sefirah of the triad that starts the 4th week of the Omer count? well, in kabbalistic thinking, the only real impediment to the extension of G’d’s loving-kindness in the world is the imposition of death since the transgression of the Foreparents, Adam and Eve.  netzach is associated with the bringing of Moshiach…specifically with the practical steps needed to help bring that ultimate tikkun about. netzach is all about the sort of victory that is t’shuvah, ‘repentance’. t’shuvah argues against the harsh decree…which ultimately means death (look again at the unetane tokef).

the Lurianic teaching is that in kedushah, in marriage, which is the lower union of tiferet (last week’ sefira hashavua) and  malchut (the still to come final week’s sefirah), the union of the spouses takes each to a higher sefirah: the groom to netzach and the bride to hod, both intermediated by yesod, the sefira of the genitalia. yes, sex is more than it might sometimes seem, chevrei. the groom enters into a state of consciousness of timeliness within time. a little bit of immortality, a fending off of death, in the possibility of engendering new life and the ‘out of the world’ sensations that go with it. (we’ll talk more about the lovely bride next week, don’t worry, ladies).

is it any surprise then, that chassidut (‘chassidic philosophy/kabbalah’) associates netzach with bitachon, ie, ‘confidence’?  and the forcefulness in G’dly action that comes of bitachon. so chesed in netzach is loving-kindness dispensed through and with confidence. and it is the chance for us to look at the obstacles that seem to keep us from loving well as a glass half full! why? well, we are imitating the spirit ways of G’d, whose victory/netzach is eternal/netzach and never a matter of regret or doubt. it is for us to make the Netzach Yisrael (‘G’d’) manifest in the world. G’d opens G’d’s hand and satisfies the needs of every living thing. for us, then, the hand that we open to offer with chesed is held wide open and extended as far as our powerful right arm can reach in netzach….there ain’t no pullin back.

mussar for chesed she b’netzach

with another….bein adam l’chaveiro   doing kindness for someone can change the world for the better in ways that none of us can fully imagine. know that. KNOW that. it is not accident that l’netzach netzachim (‘forever and ever’) is related to l’dor vador (‘forever, as handed down from generation to generation’), so know that the action you take today in loving-kindness has eternal impact on the world. now, what kind thing are you going to do for someone today? (and therefore forever?)

with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo   it’s a little trendy for me, but might work well for others, so here goes: formulate a mission statement for your life….or at least for the next decade or so…..do some personal long-term strategic planning (not tactical!) for your walk with G’d.

kabbalah for chesed she b’netzach

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion   consider how you can make your good work in the world persistent. remember a time in which you lost yourself in the doing of hard work….for any sort of good end. look to that sort of losing yourself as the model to repeat in your efforts in loving-kindness.

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation    a person needs a good dose on energizer bunny netzach when faced with chronic problems. family problems, friendship problems, spiritual problems with G’d, ch’v. all need chesed to be extended and not a one-off sort of thing. and the big issue with chronic problems is not the problem itself, but rather our accumulating negative feelings about something that just won’t go away very easily….seem like they never will. netzach is also the power of invention in these times…the energy that emboldens giving a shot at a new way of addressing chronic problems….and the energy to keep doing the necessary repetitive approaches as well.  meditate on how G’d manages to put up with us and our failings day after day, week after week, month after month….l’dor vador!

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation    let’s extend the idea begun in yetzirah….every obstacle we face in actualizing our personal mission statement, our moral strategic plan, is chronic until we overcome it. we organize and break things down into manageable parts in our work, right? contemplate one of the areas of improvement you have identified….sigh, if you like….but break it down into steps…and consider it some loving-kindness for your own psyche!

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition   athletes talk about “breaking through”, or what we used to call “getting a second wind”. we all of us get a second wind daily if we open up to that fresh neshamah (breathed/breathing soul’) that is breathed into us daily. meditate on part of the daily morning prayer “Nishmat Kol Chai”: “ruach kol basar t’fa’er….tamid” (the spirit (ruach) of all flesh shall honor You…..always). can anything but persistent actions ‘honor’ the Eternal?

kinyan 22 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Emunat Chachamim….Belief in the Wise.   actually it is faith in the teachings of the wise, and belief in the goodness of their efforts in the world. we may doubt whether some teachings are less helpful for us, but we should never turn aside the teaching of our great rabbis and thinkers completely, even when we have good reason to disagree, for we must know, have emunah (‘belief’ in the form of trust) that they intend good in all their teachings. and that they have more claim to wisdom than most of us! Torah is learning as well as teaching:

“faith is the essence of Torah”

now, go study and engage deeply with Torah with that in mind…learn from the wise wherever they are found.

haYom shisha asar yom, sh’heim sh’nei shavuot ushnei yomim, laOmer: gevurah she b’tiferet

“uprightness and justice are the shape of Your love, the earth is full of Your kindness”

tonight we consider the interinclusion of discernment in compassion. but it is also Rosh Chodesh Iyyar, the first of the 2 new moons that fall withing the period of sefirat haOmer. and it is not incidental that this Rosh Chodesh actually presents us with a nice way to illustrate the notion of discerning compassion….that the strong 5th line (5 represents the power of division, of breaking things down to facilitate understanding, or a powerful discernment, if you will) of Psalm 33 points it up so well is, perhaps, not coincidental.

the central thrust of gevurah in tiferet is the question of whether the compassion you feel and act upon is commensurate with the need of the one receiving it, or the situation that elicits it. there is also the issue of discernment of interest in compassion–there are those who focus all their compassion close to home in family and friends (it is not compassionate to say that the poor of vietnam are the concern of vietnam, for instance), and others who do the opposite, focusing on those in distant lands, directing little compassion to those in need close to home (why would anyone overlook needs in their own community to only give to help the poor in vietnam, for instance?). and discernment is also brought to bear in the tzedakah that is dispensed–how much must we examine the likely use of any help we give?

the doing of compassion can be more or less efficient….the unbound chesed is not the middle way. we can pick and choose amongst charitable opportunities….within limits, being careful to start close and work out in ever widening circles of righteousness. but there is a simple baseline: if we are asked to help provide food by a needy person, we must give something if we have anything at all to give…even if we don’t know for certain that the funds will be used for food.  we needn’t contribute to bus fare, or housing, or “just help” if we have reason to suspect fraud, though we are also taught not to be suspicious. but food help cannot be turned away so long as you have so much as a penny that you can afford to give.

the words used in Psalm 33 are “tzedakah” ‘uprightness’ and mishpat ‘justice with a strong notion of law’….and chesed ‘loving-kindness’. so we have obligatory responsibility giving, law compliant giving, and loving-kindness, which includes actual involvement in volunteering time and person as well as giving.

it is this complex that will bring 33, rosh chodesh, and minhag/halachah to bear as an illustration of gevurah in tiferet of a different sort. many of you probably know that we are in a limited state of aveilut (mourning) during a large part of the time of counting. this is due to the deaths of r’ Akiva’s 12,000 pairs of students (chevruta…the arguing friends of talmudic study) within 33 days during the sefirat haOmer period in the time of the rebellion against Rome. perhaps fewer of you know that the students were said to have died of the plague due to failure to “respect” each other….they failed to achieve the harmony of tiferet, hence, there Torah was not a suitable carrying on after the great r’ Akiva.  (the standard is very high for yeshiva students, yes?!)

so to this day, we mourn the deaths (which nearly wiped out Torah in the Land) by refraining from enjoying music, dancing, frivolity, and grooming beyond what is necessary for hygiene and tsniut. (a mazel tov shout out to r’ mendy and alta goldstein, whose son will have “upsherin”, his first haircut at age 3, this coming Lag b’Omer!). but there are 2 customs regarding the period of mourning. the sefardim and most chassidim begin mourning with the onset of sefirah and break off at the 33rd day of the Omer count, ie, Lag (it means 33rd day) b’Omer.. the central/western mitnaged tradition is to begin mourning at Rosh Chodesh Iyar and continue until the day after Rosh Chodesh Sivan, which is 3 days before Shavuot. the third way is that of the Maharil, who held that 33 days during sefirat haOmer was crucial, but that no students died on the holiest of the days between Pesach and Shavuot, ie, 17 days comprising the 7 sabbaths, 6 days of Pesach, the day after Pesach, and the days of Rosh Chodesh Iyar and Sivan. so 33 days of mourning out of 50,  but not in an unbroken succession.

this could lead to problems in many communities with mixed populations of sefardim, chassidim, mitnagdim, and those who follow the ruling of the Maharil. what if a mitnaged held a wedding and invited his sefardic friends to attend the blissful holiness during the mourning period for the sefardim? or vice versa?  r’ Moshe Feinstein, the only just about universally recognized Torah decisor of the last century, ruled that any jew could, and should, attend a wedding for one of a different tradition regardless of their own mourning tradition. indeed, he also ruled that jews could switch their mourning period from year to year if need be….so long as they observed 33 days within the time of the sefirat haOmer (with some caveats for maintaining peace within a community).

r’ Moshe Feinstein’s compassion in this decision allowed for mutual respect between the different minhagim. by taking this approach, without missing the central halachah of 33 days, r’ Feinstein did a rectification of the error of the 12,000 pairs of r’ Akiva’s students by multiplying the harmony in the People. THAT is using discernment/gevurah in compassion/tiferet….oh, and if you need to spruce up with a trim for Rosh Chodesh or a wedding? well, that’s ok too!

mussar for gevurah she b’tiferet

gevurah-tiferet with another….bein adam l’chaveiro   we should all be aware that our personal need for space will affect our relationships with others. sometimes we need a little more space than at other times. assess your needs and set appropriate boundaries for the good of your relationships with others.

gevurah-tiferet with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo   you are responsible not only to your relationships, but also to yourself. if you don’t already, set up a calendar and get rigorous about recording appointments and other necessary times so you can navigate your world in better balance.

kabbalah for gevurah she b’tiferet

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion    editing (which i need to do more carefully in these posts) is the process of rectifying error and bringing about better form through discernment.  we can do the same with out spirit traits. consider your traits and practices. which are the necessary? prune out the deadwood of habits to bring clarity to your way.

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation    it takes a village to raise a child, they say. and they mean that we all have something to offer to those in need as they grow in their character. examine your spirit skills. which are the ones that you could most usefully teach to another?  just do it.

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation    harmony doesn’t just happen in music or color or amongst people. each of us has to think through the available notes, or pigments, or spirit traits to find which will balance or harmonize best in each situation.  focus on your harmonies in family and community. contemplate what prompted you to bring those notes, colors, attitudes to bear.  respect the balance you have achieved.

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition    each of us has a prayer or a reading from Torah that seems most beautiful to us. or maybe you find beauty in other places and need to do hallel for those findings. contemplate the beauty you find and pray it…raise it up as an offering to G’d.

kinyan 16 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Miyut Ta’anug….Moderation in Pleasure.  jewish mourning is a stripping down of the joy we ordinarily seek to build as part of our avodah, our work for G’d in the world.  like fasting, it is a practice that puts away things that tend to carry us away….the result being that we have the stillness internally to be more present to other things.  usually to things that we don’t ordinarily take as much to heart. r’ Akiva’s students, in spite of having the greatest Torah master of their generation (of perhaps any generation) failed to get simple mutual respect, balance and harmony between them correct. due to this sever error a great plague (read disharmony and unbalance) was unleashed amongst them. disharmony is death to the highest aspects of spirit, and the fundamental underpinning of compassion is respect for the person and circumstance of your neighbors, family, friends, and community.  empathy is a fellow feeling, and when it is lacking, rachamim (the embrace of the womb) is elsewhere.

“moderate your pleasures of olam hazeh (this world), but maximize the pleasures of olam haba (the world to come)–the pleasure that comes from serving the other. “

haYom shnei yomim laOmer: gevurah she b’chesed

“first a person should put his house together, then his town, then the world”

r’ salanter, father of modern mussar offers this advice, and it suggests the introduction of gevurah (‘judgment’) into the chesed  (loving-kindness) in which we dwell every night of the count this week.  we should see that there is no suggestion of cutting off chesed herein, but rather an ordering of it, an admission of judgment in it (of this, more next week when we practice interinclusions in gevurah all week).

instead of all love to all at all times, most of us are better adept as recognizing where and when and what is a better way for us to do tzedakah, to love chesed…in a way that is actually more efficient for us. now we aren’t looking at cost-effectiveness per se, though all of us have limits to our monetary ability to give, but rather  at a spirit-effectiveness.  some of us are gifted ourselves with bringing cheer to those in need, others are better at organizing charitable giving, still others are best giving time to teach, etc.

judgment in love is something adele probably should sing more of….else her songs are destined to be always sad.

but the real kernel that emerges out of gevurah she b’chesed is the character trait of achrayut, or ‘responsibility,’ which operates even in love…none of us, save the Holy One, has unlimited capacity for everlasting love. but we build spriritual responsibility only by practicing very careful judgment on how much limitation, how much restriction, how much reigning in we do. might have to come off cruise control, but there is no need to hit the brakes!  gevurah brings shape to our chesed, so that we are like better behaved puppies…we are still always happy and full of love, but have learned that maybe jumping up on folks all the time isn’t best.

mussar for gevurah she b’chesed

gevurah-chesed with another….bein adam l’chavero   remember that we are still in the sefirah of chesed…so how would you apply chesed to one for whom you just don’t care much for? someone who aggravates you, someone you just don’t get along with?  too much gevurah and you just don’t deal with them…and that is not ok. parents: consider how you can better love your children with caring discipline. and all of us can follow the practice of reaching out to help one who troubles us…better yet, reach out to do something that an enemy needs.

gevurah-chesed with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo  assess what you are good at. what are your best traits of action?  what sorts of doing do you naturally vibrate with?  find a way to accept the responsibility that you should be exercising your strengths in a responsible fashion for yourself…..but then ask yourself what am i if i only use my strengths for myself?

kabbalah for gevurah she b’chesed

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion   many of us know people who are engaged in caring for elderly parents.  it can be profoundly exhausting, and can easily drain energy away from caring for spouses, children, friends…and others outside the family circle entirely.  particularly in the case of an elderly person suffering from dementia, doing chesed can sometimes simply be a chore.   some time today meditating on how one carves time, sets up reasonable but necessary boundaries, shares caregiving responsibility. chart a better  course of governing your love (either up or down).   oh, and if you were gardening on day 1, feel free to weed a little on day 2.

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   parents especially need to consider how to bring structure to their childrens’ activities.   how often do we encounter children who become whole and independent completely without some boundaries being set?   but lovers can be the same way, so carried off with joy that responsibility is lost….how much more so in a marriage, wherein we may feel that the revery of love is washed away by the responsibility.  practice governing today, racheting up love that is lean or lost, and stepping down the urge to throw restraint to the wind.  what is the test token (remember the film inception?) that lets you know when you are dreaming in love and when you must  ‘come back to earth?’

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation   gevurah can express itself not only in restraint, but also in simple discernment.  sometimes i think that there is no more important spirit world and sefirah than a little gevurah in our beloved chesed in the places where we think and create.  perhaps the sort of work that was so very right for us at 25 is less so–or not so–at 57.  certainly your practice of judaism should have taken different paths over time.  the spirit way of age 13 was not intended to last a lifetime (though the skills are!). ….meditate on your way in G’d now.  what jewish ways, which practices, which emphases continue to stoke the love of G’d but recognize how far you have come in your creative thought about the holy?

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition   among G’d’s great attributes is erech apayim,  ‘being slow to anger.’  it is not that anger is absent for those created in the image of G’d, but that it is very well tempered. i often teach the way of the Koretzer rebbe who taught that he had mastered his anger, placing it in his pocket.  when he had need of it, he could simply take it out.  how many of us have the presence of mind to live with anger but to control it so very well?  meditate on ‘being slow to anger’ until you see the chesed in it.

kinyan 2 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Shmiat haOzen…Listening    we wear tzitzit in order not to be distracted and led astray by our eyes.  we are yet tempted by the bright, the fancy, the bigger…the badder….as hannibal lector famously points out “we begin by coveting that which we see  everyday.”  but the sparkly and brilliant often skips across the intellect without leaving much of a mark. interestingly, we have no such restraint on our hearing (at least not before the advent of the iPod) .  indeed, crucial mitzvot like shofar, and hearing the reading of Torah rely on an unimpeded ear….one is called upon to remove the foreskin of the ear in order that we may listen clearly.  the ‘central faith statement of the Jewish People’, the shema itself urges that we hear…..all the way into our hearts.  G’d set the exodus in motion when he heard the cries of the People…not when he saw their work.  so it is in the acquisition of Torah.  reading it silently in the fashion of modern scholarship will never penetrate to the heart, but hearing it, listening to the words as well as engaging the mind to come to understand the meaning  thereof is the way of grabbing the ‘good taking’ that G’d has revealed to us.