Tag Archives for sefirah

haYom chamisha asar yom, sh’heim shnei shavuot v’yom echad, laOmer: chesed she b’tiferet

“loving-kindness and truth are met together”

occasionally the sod (deep kabbalistic meaning) springs to the surface. it is so here in Psalm 85 wherein the hebrew actually says that chesed and emet (a second name for tiferet) encounter each other. and the result is the ‘kissing’ of peace and righteousness, which again reveals the balance that is wrought by the interinclusions in tiferet. so strong is this tendency toward G’d’s truth in harmony, the the tzedek of gevurah and wholeness of chesed are cheek to cheek.  we end up with what we might call loving-righteousness, or compassion. this is the essence of  G’d’s truth, for it too has both the quality of overflowing exuberance and obligatory goodness….remember that in the phrasing of the attributes of the Holy One (Exodus 34:7), G’d proclaims that this is a singular middah ‘quality or trait’:

“….v’rav chesed v’emet….”

G’d is ‘abounding in kindness and truth’; G’d is the very essence of bounty, harvest almost without measure in this arena. so it was revealed to Moshe as he was held in the cleft of rock, from which perch he saw only G’d’s back…perhaps the knot of G’d’s t’fillin….the eternal reminder of the exodus from mitzraim.  since the time of Moshe, this view has been the “what to see” when one makes the stricture of totafot  between your eyes real. it is always the knot of G’d’s tefillin that we bring into view, focusing through both eyes on the letter dalet of the knot. we can’t see the t’fillin on our head, but we can call that dalet knot sighting to mind, courtesy of Moshe Rabbeinu.

so what does dalet have to do with the interinclusion of chesed in tiferet? what does it have to do with chesed and truth?  well, the very name “dalet” is cognate with the hebrew “delet” or ‘door’. the dalet letterform is said to be an open door. the word “dolim” means “needy ones” so whenever we see a dalet we are to be thinking about opening our door (p’raps the gates to our spirit) to the needy. the Maharal teaches that dalet, with a numerical value of 4 represents also the physical world (but also the 4 spirit worlds, see below) upon which we walk in the 4 directions, north, south, east and west…..which, of course, is why Avraham’s tent is open to all 4 directions, extending an open door to all who walk the earth: this is the omnidirectionality, the overflowing of chesed.

but the dal of doleh (needy) actually has a deeper meaning of uplifting. and also its opposite, ‘downletting’, if you will. when one goes to a well to draw water, one does “doleh doleh” (see Exodus 2:19) to draw water, ie, one lets down the bucket in order to bring water up from deep down in the earth. so dalet also reminds us of the up and down directions, so we have again our 6x6x6 of the cube…the shape of the t’fillin box, and the way of waving both the lulav and the omer. and the path of G’d extends up and down the tree of life via the sefirot.

but what about truth in all this? well, the downness of the bucket in the well is only to be raised up: the truth in the exodus is that G’d sent the People down so as to raise them up in aliyah to the Holy Land and the way of Torah. it was (and still is) the upness that is the reason for the downness. you want to see that explicitly?  well, the verse after the one about the meeting of chesed and truth with which we began this d’var says:

“truth springs out of the earth; and righteousness looks down from on high”

truth is G’d’s watchword. placed upon the clay of the golem, the word truth brings the earth to life. G’d’s truth is ever near to you here on earth…adam is taken from the earth and G’d’s truth is in humankind from formation. but as the Slonimer Rebbe pointed out to his chassidim: “truth jumps out of the ground as you walk, but you are too stubborn to bend down to reach for it.”  walk humbly, chevrei, see the dalet and answer the need “below” you, then gather ye the rosebuds of truth while ye may.

mussar for chesed she b’tiferet

chesed-tiferet with another….bein adam l’chaveiro   Hillel teaches (Ketuvot 17a) that one should always compliment the beauty of a bride, even if she is not beautiful to you, for she is certainly beautiful to the groom in so many way you cannot even imagine. there is no lie here. it is a truth born of empathy, of the chesed in tiferet, extending a kind eye to find a greater than mere surface ‘truth’.  seek the beauty in everyone you meet, for G’d’s truth springs out of each of us.

chesed-tiferet with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo    remember that truth is another name for the sefirah tiferet. at the end of the last paragraph of the Shema, we add the word “emet”, ‘truth’ to the last line of the verse: “I, the Lord, am Your G’d” “truth”. remember that in this truth is the balance, harmony and beauty of tiferet. so when preparing to say Shema before retiring to bed, consider where in your day now past you erred in balance, creating disharmony when you could have made greater beauty. resolve to do better today.

kabbalah for chesed she b’tiferet

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion   Moshe brought the teaching of dalet to us, but Miriam brought the well into which we must dip and raise up if we are to drink of the stream of Torah. tiferet is the sefirah of “rachamim” compassion, and “rechem” or ‘womb’ derives from the same root. it is by way of the watery womb of mothers that all of us come to walk on earth. how will you extend loving-kindness to all the women you meet today?

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   the Slonimer pointed out that even his chassidim stubbornly refused to look earthward and see the truth that constantly sprung up before them. is is so within the human psyche as well as outside it. we are so often busy measuring ourselves against external ideals that we fail to see the beauty within ourselves. reaching in is like looking down, contemplate your own beauty, it is your truth.

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation   the dalet reminds to look 4 ways round and 4 ways up and down. but tiferet is a middle way, neither right nor left (though listing to starboard). the middle matzah is broken, representing the broken word of now and looking toward the afikoman, taken from now, only to be restored in the future. the middle way has a4th dimension, time. meditate on walkin’ humbly with G’d in time.

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition    many today seem to look earthward with a scientific eye only, seeing the truth only of the physical and material. seeing the dust, but not the watchword of G’d that can make of clay a human. contemplate the leap from inanimate matter to animate matter. what truth springs out at you?

kinyan 15 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Miyut Derech Eretz….Moderation in Worldly Affairs.  “this book of Torah shall not depart from your mouth; you shall meditate in the words day and night” (Joshua1:8)…..but also, “you shall gather your grains, your wine and your oil” (Deuteronomy 11:14).  well, which is it? do we study Torah all day or do we work all day?  can’t live without eating, so you gotta work. but what if you take the verse in Joshua literally?  keep the Torah constantly in your mouth…in thought and expression and deed….and you will find that your work itself is Torah as well. it isn’t one or the other but each in the other. your work informs your reading of Torah, and Torah informs your approach to the Way in work. the Besht teaches: “when a man prays largely for material benefits, his prayer of supplication is wasted. it forms a material curtain between G’d and himself because he has brought too much matter into the domain of spirit. he receives no ‘answer’ whatsoever.” 

haYom shneim asar yom, sh’heim shavua echad vachamisha yomim, laOmer: hod she b’gevurah

“my G’d, the soul You have placed within me is pure”

the innate quality of hod is anavah, humility, a sense of restricting oneself in the face of the magnificence of so many other things in the Creation. wiser people, bolder people, power in nature….and me, just me? not so much.  well, if such humility combines in gevurah, with its innate strength of restriction, severe justice and power in limitation, you have a hard veer into drawing away from engagement in the world.

and that is never any good.

couple it with the weight of memory that touches all of us as we step into the darkness of Yom haShoah, and you begin to see how evil can find a foothold in a judgement of despair.  we are not metaphorically  just dust and ashes, but we are the children, the small remnant of those who were made dust and ashes. this could be a powerful inducement to withdrawal from engagement in a murderous world.

but that is never, never, never any good.

we do well to remember that hod also has a radiant power side that can ally to the just power in gevurah. double strength….the power to rise, a spirit phoenix from the dust and ash.  rise, as did Aharon, from his stricken silence upon the inexplicable death of his sons Nadav and Avihu.

we have the phrase ‘i who am but dust and ashes’ directly from Avraham Avinu, who shows us the way to radiate beauty from seeming weakness:

“Avraham answered and said, ‘behold, i have ventured to speak to G’d, i who am but dust and ashes. suppose 5 of the 50 righteous are lacking….will you destroy the whole city for lack of 5?” (Genesis 18:27-33)

Avraham strove after that small remnant of the righteous that can and will bring redemption. the bargain struck at the time of sodom and amorah was 10, simply 10 righteous and the whole would live to repent.  but some have suggested that Avraham stopped too soon. it took that other humble master, Moshe Rabbeinu, to plead for an entire People in which there were fewer than 10 righteous now and then. the humblest  among humans and one who is but dust and ashes can accomplish much…..this is the radiance of hod, the beauty of hod in justice.

but perhaps we need only focus on 1. for we pray each morning as above…’my G’d, the soul You have placed within me is pure’…and that alone is enough to make us more than mere dust and ash.  we are worthy by reason of innate purity from the Source of All.  G’d’s choice therein makes us more. if i am not for myself, who will be for me?  well, the Holy One of Israel, for starters.

and if we rise for ourselves as well, we can make more righteousness with the soul we are given. if there are 10 righteous in a sea of antisemites, yet will we seek to fix it with righteousness. if there is but 1 righteous remaining, we will remember that the entire world was Created for that 1….and regrow the way from there.

‘the neshamah You have placed within me is pure’ and nothing and nobody will prevent me from letting it shine forth.  i am of the People that watches evil empires fall….so are you. baruch haShem we know the radiant power of hod in gevurah.  consider what has been wrought by but a still small voice….

mussar for hod she b’gevurah

hod-gevurah with another….bein adam l’chaveiro   what you do will matter for others. make like Avraham and in spite of the odds, act for righteousness. take a deep breath of optimism, and exhale all the despair.

hod-gevurah with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo   there is power in the gratitude of hod as well. G’d has given you a pure soul.  give thanks for it, and for every wrong you avoid in your own actions (take credit for outdoing your own yetzer hara) and for the avoidance of wrong in the actions of others due to your use of your pure soul to make a difference in the world.

kabbalah for hod she b’gevurah

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion   hod-gevurah are both sefirot of the left side of the tree of life, the physical weak-hand side for most. but it is also the strong spirit side, bound in t’fillin. flex your left hand, lift your left arm while still bound, and feel the strength within….the strength secreted away in the left of hod in gevurah.

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   another secret strength is the intuitive feeling in our gut. many of us survive today due to the gut feeling of an ancestor who went off to america. be mindfully ready to ‘go with your gut’ today.

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation   b’riyah is the soul level of neshamah in the body.  we can either innately sense purity within, or create it without. focus on purity within yourself. can you find the neshamah?  praise G’d from it.

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition   neshamah, the breathed in/in-breathed soul is the highest level we can directly experience.  mind your breath and know that G’d is delivering strength to you through it, for both body and soul. reflect on how near G’d is to you and how G’d is exalted.

kinyan 12 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Pilpul haTalmidim….Sharp Discussion between Students.  there is a time for quiet reflection, and a time to speak out strongly in interpretation. we learn in the aggadah that r’ Hama said, “what is meant by ‘iron sharpens iron’? (Proverbs 27:17).  it tells you that just a piece of iron is used to sharpen another piece, so 2 scholars sharpen each other’s mind by fierce discussion of Torah.”  acquire yourself a study partner and friend, and go at it!

haYom tish’a yomim, sh’heim shavua echad ushnei yomim, laOmer: gevurah she b’gevurah

chevrei: this one is for reb baruch. those who have the blessing on knowing him will understand.

“take time, be exact, unclutter the mind”

so taught the Alter of Kelm, r’ Simcha Zissel Ziv. this is probably the very best way to look at a double helping of constraint, don’t you think? generally, the trait of order is a middle way discussion, for gevurah she b’tiferet, perhaps, but the IRS granted all taxpayers an extension til 17 april to file, so what should have been g’vurah in gevurah on the night of filing your taxes by midnight, must change. you can see why it would have been just too much justice, yes? or just too much regulation…which itself is essence of gevurah. but look also what a little tiferet can do!  what a difference 2 extra days to file can make. oy.

but order is a practice born of restraint. a focusing of energy in order to keep on top of things. perhaps the surprise for some of you will be that the idea of order is a spiritual practice. but consider it only a little bit and you will see how shot through judaism is with order in practice. where would jewish prayer be without siddur (‘order’ of prayer).  what would all of us have done only 1 week ago had it not been for a seder (‘order’ of teaching/prayer for chag pesach day 1). who would want to go without the weekly sedra (‘order’ of readings).

but the simple gematria of samech-dalet-resh teaches us more, for it is equivalent to “miderech” (‘from the way’)of the phrase “miderech hatov l’heitiv” or the the way of the the good is to be meitiv…that is to “do good’ for others. the Ramchal (r’Moshe Chaim Luzatto) teaches that none other than G’d lives by this rule. so, if we want to make like G”d, we should partake of orderly practices and ordering practices. (by the way, moms out there may want to hold close to their hearts that the simple gematria is also the same as the hebrew word for ‘after them’, as a way of remembering that where order is not maintained you will find yourselves “cleaning up after them”….)

this is as earthy as it gets, chevrei.  keeping order is a good spiritual practice and not just a way to be ready for preparing your taxes….or keeping your desk functional, or your closet inviting.

a traditional part of the reasoning behind this, beside the obvious functional reasons for set times and set words and set calendar, etc, is that each of us is to be a ‘servant’ of G’d.  servants, as most of us middle class americans have long forgotten, are the folk who dwell in your midst to keep your vast and drafty manor house and grounds working well for entertaining the guests, making the meals and keeping down the dust and such.

being a servant to G’d is a little different. consider the way suggested by the kabbalists: that we are only here at all in order to effect tikkun olam, repair of the world. our servitude is in fixing what’s broken in this world and raising up the divine sparks in everything we encounter….sweeping up the lifeless husks that remain after a job well done.

gevurah in gevurah is a double helping of order….it is the way of the engineer in service of G’d. but it also teaches another thing we should be mindful of. what is the reason that we fall into ways of disorder?  too often we say “i don’t have time to do little ordering thing x because…….”   you can fill in the blank many ways, i suspect…i know i can. but look at this sad state of affairs….it is all ultimately about the “i” deciding that “i” want to do something else for “me.”  i’d much rather watch “Out of the Past” for the 10th time than to label a folder “2012 charitable contributions.” never mind that the latter will scarcely hold up the former….it’s just that i’m convinced that Robert Mitchum never filed a folder in his life….then again, the one i serve “orders the stars in the heavens according to G’d’s will.”  now how cool is that?

mussar for gevurah she b’gevurah

gevurah-gevurah with another….bein adam l’chaveiro  there are very important reasons to practice a lot of gevurah-gevurah in speech. it is the only way to avoid lashon hara (‘evil speech’), which is something many of us need to work on.  be very careful with your words today.  make sure that what you speak is useful, not hateful, not ill begotten, and preferably tinged with Torah.  mind your tongue.

gevurah-gevurah with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo   gevurah is also perseverance. it takes a good deal of it to do mussar and kabbalah every single day of the counting!  remember that you can continue to count even if you miss a day, but get your gevurah in gear and give a diligent count another go.

kabbalah for gevurah she b’gevurah

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion   some of you no doubt include breathing as part of your meditative practice. here is a simple one: know gevurah in breathing by focusing on filling your lungs with a deep breath. there is a very real limit as to how much volume we can inhale!  now ask yourself how your restraint and judgment influences your neshamah, the breathing soul, for the good. do you make strength in your limits? or do you need to expand your spiritual rib cage a bit?

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   you judge people daily. what do you find yourself judging them on? and against what standard?  contemplate what you should be focusing on in judging another, using informed discernment (instead of the feelings/impressions you may now be focusing on).

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation   build on the meditation in yetzirah….how do you celebrate the uniqueness, good and  wisdom you find in another?

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition   notice the simple act of ordering that ‘binds’ this prayer of reb Nachman to order….and to Omer. pray these words today with regard for gevurah:

“master of the universe/ unify my divided heart/ to love and revere Your Name./ for this is the purpose of my existence/ to bind together all the worlds/ both spiritual and physical/ and combine all divine names in 1 absolute unity./ in this way, Your Oneness will be revealed/ and shine forth. “

kinyan 9 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Shimush Chachamim….Hang with the Wise.  just being in the presence of the truly wise of the world is a better education in Torah.  a good rabbi/chacham will teach more in the simple modeling of behavior, practice, and spiritual traits than any other.  when you study from a book, it is human and page.  when you study with a wise teacher, the same information on the page will run out in mighty tributaries like rivers out of Eden.  consider how it is put in Pirkei Avot:

“one who studies alone is no match for one who studies with a master”

go find yourself a master and spend some time. you will learn as you have never imagined.

haYom shisha yomim laOmer: yesod she b’chesed

“who is like You? glorious in holiness, awesome in praises, doing wonders?”

it is on the 7th day of passover that the Israelites found themselves between the sea and the army of pharaoh. G’d acted profoundly on the part of the People, splitting the waters of the sea to allow passage for the Israelites, and then sending the waters crashing down again on the army of pharaoh, destroying them utterly. at this moment, the People Israel knew that a new relationship had most certainly been established…a new yesod, ‘foundation’ established for a holy relationship between the two.

among sefardim, this day is known is known as Yom Vayyosha, ‘the day of the song of the sea’.  aside from the song that we know in Torah, there is a ladino tune, Ketuba del Seten Dia de Pesah, or ‘Ketubah  for the 7th Day of Passover,’ for this day is said to be day on which a marriage between the People and G’d was made.  something foundational was established that day when the People broke out into spontaneous song at the awesome wonder of G’d who had just saved them from certain annihilation.

yesod is the sefirah of foundation.  it is also the seat of sexual energy in the tree. and there is something very, very sexy in the intoxication of that 7th-day consummation.  the incident at the sea produced an intimacy between the People and G’d that had not sprung from the plagues, had not sprung from Moshe’s return and proclamation of the immanent end of slavery, and had not sprung even from the beginning of the exodus from the land of Goshen. it was only in the exclusivity of the chesed shown in the division of the waters that the People came to know the Love that G’d held for them….a love once again as intimate and immediate as that between G’d and Avraham Avinu at the beginning of the jewish journey.

crossing the seabed was the ‘passover’, the pesach, the ‘leap’ from mitzrayim to “outside mitzrayim,” a going forth from the existence the People had been born into to a new life in which they would have to rely on their bound partner.  just as one steps away one’s parents and family upon marriage, so does yesod in chesed urge us to consider founding and securing something new and awesome in love with our mate and with G’d.  in judaism, marriage is associated with holiness.  and the creative energy of sexuality is foundational for each couple in their marriage.

intimacy in love, the cleaving of mate with mate, is the closest our embodied spirits will get to the cleaving to G’d that we are urged to do.  yesod is the strong foundation upon which the necessary mutual trust in love is built.  yesod in chesed is enduring certainty in love.

mussar for yesod she b’chesed

yesod-chesed with another….bein adam l’chaveiro    what happens in a relationship when chemistry moves into intimate contact?  when interest becomes closeness?  when separate souls cleave in married love? in the deep love of friendship?  find a way to show how deep is your love for another today. do something that gets at the foundation of that love you share.

yesod-chesed with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo   we all feel cornered sometimes.  are you sometimes surprised by the parting of the waters that you fear will drown you?  do you trust enough in G’d to open yourself up to faith? pray for an opening to the Holy One today….feel embraced.

kabbalah for yesod she b’chesed

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion   one can only lead a life of chesed from a strong foundation.  you need to feel a little secure in order to share deeply with others. the nefesh, the indwelling soul, is created uniquely for you and is your companion for life (and beyond).  try to sense the nefesh of  another today; then settle in your own indwelling soul and do some small kindness for the soul you find in the other.

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   sexual energy is profoundly creative.  but we all know that therein lies the potential for destruction as well.  the life and death situation that faced the People deepened their faith profoundly. contemplate how you can use your sexual energy in ways that build holiness….what would it be to so secure in the foundation of your relationship that you could know or know again a holy lust?

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation   we say in the blessing before Torah study ‘la’asok b’Torah’, ie, to transact with Torah.  but ayin-samekh-kuf has a slang meaning of have an ‘affair’.  meditate on your marriage to Torah (Shavuot is coming!) but also contemplative the possible offspring of your affair with Torah….

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition   we have spoken of the need for an abiding faith, a steadfast, enduring trust in G’d….a faith that withstands slings and arrows of what seems like fortune, but is, as we must ultimate recognize, all G’dsend.  ahavah and echad have the same value in standard gematria, which means that the Shema is telling us that G’d is love is the same as G’d is one.  “Know this day, and lay it to your heart, that G’d is G’d in heaven above and upon earth beneath; there is none else” (Deuteronomy 4:39).  meditate on the steadfastness of G’d’s love in both the good and the bad, for it is all one.

kinyan 6 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Eimah… Being Awestruck.  r’ chaim volozhin points out that G’d only resides in the 4 amot of halacha, hence, when studying Torah one should be in a state of awe not unlike that felt by the high priest on Yom Kippur.  in yeshiva, we were urged to consider, whenever we would stray into some small idle talk, or daydream late in the day of study, whether we felt that G’d, who is sitting and studying with us after all, appreciated our ease in breaking off from study.  what can one possibly reply, save to immediately re-busy ourselves in the text?  being awestruck can be everyday when your worldview truly acknowledges how close G’d is to us in all our activities….and how much more so when we study.  r’ avraham yehoshua heschel reminds us that “the question, ‘where  shall wisdom be found?‘ is answered by the psalmist: “the awe of G’d is the beginning of wisdom.”  so, you see, being awestruck is a powerful kinyan not only to the study of  Torah, but also to the application of Torah!

haYom sh’losha yomim laOmer: tiferet she b’chesed

“Father of Compassion, favor Zion with your goodness”

think about it. at the beginning of the Torah reading service on shabbat morning we exultantly say “who is like You?” and then ” You are master, You were master, You will be master for eternity…G’d will give Israel strength…and bless his People with peace”  and then suddenly the niggun gets darker, almost pleading  “av harachamim…”

but wait. this sounds like a petitionary prayer….on shabbat? nu?

if ever known in your life, if even once, you know why compassion is so important that we crave it even during the otherwise peace and contentment of shabbat.  for  the sefirah of tiferet, ‘compassion, harmony, balance, beauty’ is on the mainline from haShem, the first full station stop in the central trunk of the tree.  tiferet is the sure-footed balancing of chesed and gevurah, neither too free nor too tight, but just right.

the hebrew rachamim is powerfully associated with death in many prayers…the kel molei rachamim….the full av harachamim….compassion is what one needs in hard times when the tendency is too easily to go gevurah (why did this one have to die? it isn’t fair), or too easily toward the loving-kind (it is a terrible thing…i know exactly how you feel…i lost my uncle bernie when i was 6…).  the prayer for compassion is a prayer for return to harmony in life.

if ever balanced, if ever truly living  compassion toward others, you will ever strive to get back to it when you tilt to extremes…..we know center when we feel it.  and we know the divine in ourselves when feel empathy for the situation of another AND also know just what to do…not too soft…not too hard…just right.  not too much good inclination, and not too much bad inclination.

the kabbalists teach that the central sefirot tend ever so slightly toward the right-side of the tree, a gravitational sort of attraction, so tiferet naturally ranges toward chesed. but the tending has no fixed point, so maybe it is more like the probability function….a region closer to chesed in which compassion is likely to be found.

and that feeds into another important aspect of tiferet: the readiness is all.  to be compassionate, one must be ready to do what is needed in the situation.  sometimes, as when visiting the sick, it is to speak and give cheer; other times, as when visiting the mourner, it may be to sit in silence.  the compassionate jew is one who is ready and nimble.

mussar for tiferet she b’chesed

tiferet-chesed with another….bein adam l’chaveiro   visit the sick with a smile.  smile upon the well. “greet every human with a cheerful and pleasant countenance” (Pirkei Avot 1:15), for it is the basic compassion.

tiferet-chesed with yourself…bein adam l’atzmo    this week we are all foregoing chametz as a matter of mitzvah and religious practice.  but as a special practice today, forego something else in empathy with others who simply don’t have.

kabbalah for tiferet she b’chesed

in assiyah….the world of doing/complation   these days, we take something like pride in being multi-taskers.  but research is beginning to show that multi-tasking is too often a matter of shortchanging everything…it is not necessarily more productive.  we end up astounded that we finish everything….but what if i asked you to be compassionate in all the many things you are doing?  would that interfering with the “getting things done”? consider which should matter more….and be sure you multi-task something just for you into your routine today….to keep yourself balanced, for from there you can extend harmony outward.

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   worry is anathema to compassion. worry is by definition out of balance, and usually a cramping in gevurah.   we parents give youngins timeouts to get things back in manageable range. why do we think it won’t work for us as well?  go ahead, give yourself a timeout–you deserve it!  meditate on the centrality of compassion in G’d, and see yourself as a potential piece of the expression of G’d’s compassion here in Creation.  are you in harmony with creation?

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation   r’ kantrowitz teaches us that we sometimes know compassion best in our friendships.  friends can observe flaws in each other and help correct them with compassion–and meet a compassionate response!  this is the full beauty of tiferet in a way.  so remember a time when you were a really good friend and knew exactly what to do and say because you were deeply empathetic in your feelings and hopes for your friend.  now what would it take to extend that to others?

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition  tiferet can be in the bond of mates in love making. it can be in the cooldown  following exercise.  chazal took time to prepare before prayer so as to be in tiferet before uttering a word….and they remained silent after prayer for a time to hold onto the compassion that had been given them through prayer.  find your time for ‘afterglow’ and use it to instill balance from which you can live the rest of the day.

kinyan 3 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Arichat S’fatayim….Speak-Teaching   the Vilna Gaon would stress the learning of Mishlei (Proverbs) in his first year students at yeshiva specifically so that they would be able to go out and teach others.  and he would require that they teach orally both in reading the text and in explaining it.  speaking what you learn is the balance between learning on your own and being able to hear, truly hear what is being taught. hence, taught the Gaon, the learning of Mishlei brings forth 2 gifts: a gift of adam l’chaveiro when each student goes out to share and reteach what is learned, and a gift of G’d l’adam for the Holy One is inspired by the character improvements that the learning brings to the students and responds immediately from his rachamim to assist all who teach and all who study. the character improvements are a surefire way to awaken G’d’s compassion!  So speak up and teach!

haYom shnei yomim laOmer: gevurah she b’chesed

“first a person should put his house together, then his town, then the world”

r’ salanter, father of modern mussar offers this advice, and it suggests the introduction of gevurah (‘judgment’) into the chesed  (loving-kindness) in which we dwell every night of the count this week.  we should see that there is no suggestion of cutting off chesed herein, but rather an ordering of it, an admission of judgment in it (of this, more next week when we practice interinclusions in gevurah all week).

instead of all love to all at all times, most of us are better adept as recognizing where and when and what is a better way for us to do tzedakah, to love chesed…in a way that is actually more efficient for us. now we aren’t looking at cost-effectiveness per se, though all of us have limits to our monetary ability to give, but rather  at a spirit-effectiveness.  some of us are gifted ourselves with bringing cheer to those in need, others are better at organizing charitable giving, still others are best giving time to teach, etc.

judgment in love is something adele probably should sing more of….else her songs are destined to be always sad.

but the real kernel that emerges out of gevurah she b’chesed is the character trait of achrayut, or ‘responsibility,’ which operates even in love…none of us, save the Holy One, has unlimited capacity for everlasting love. but we build spriritual responsibility only by practicing very careful judgment on how much limitation, how much restriction, how much reigning in we do. might have to come off cruise control, but there is no need to hit the brakes!  gevurah brings shape to our chesed, so that we are like better behaved puppies…we are still always happy and full of love, but have learned that maybe jumping up on folks all the time isn’t best.

mussar for gevurah she b’chesed

gevurah-chesed with another….bein adam l’chavero   remember that we are still in the sefirah of chesed…so how would you apply chesed to one for whom you just don’t care much for? someone who aggravates you, someone you just don’t get along with?  too much gevurah and you just don’t deal with them…and that is not ok. parents: consider how you can better love your children with caring discipline. and all of us can follow the practice of reaching out to help one who troubles us…better yet, reach out to do something that an enemy needs.

gevurah-chesed with yourself….bein adam l’atzmo  assess what you are good at. what are your best traits of action?  what sorts of doing do you naturally vibrate with?  find a way to accept the responsibility that you should be exercising your strengths in a responsible fashion for yourself…..but then ask yourself what am i if i only use my strengths for myself?

kabbalah for gevurah she b’chesed

in assiyah….the world of doing/completion   many of us know people who are engaged in caring for elderly parents.  it can be profoundly exhausting, and can easily drain energy away from caring for spouses, children, friends…and others outside the family circle entirely.  particularly in the case of an elderly person suffering from dementia, doing chesed can sometimes simply be a chore.   some time today meditating on how one carves time, sets up reasonable but necessary boundaries, shares caregiving responsibility. chart a better  course of governing your love (either up or down).   oh, and if you were gardening on day 1, feel free to weed a little on day 2.

in yetzirah….the world of feeling/formation   parents especially need to consider how to bring structure to their childrens’ activities.   how often do we encounter children who become whole and independent completely without some boundaries being set?   but lovers can be the same way, so carried off with joy that responsibility is lost….how much more so in a marriage, wherein we may feel that the revery of love is washed away by the responsibility.  practice governing today, racheting up love that is lean or lost, and stepping down the urge to throw restraint to the wind.  what is the test token (remember the film inception?) that lets you know when you are dreaming in love and when you must  ‘come back to earth?’

in b’riyah….the world of thought/creation   gevurah can express itself not only in restraint, but also in simple discernment.  sometimes i think that there is no more important spirit world and sefirah than a little gevurah in our beloved chesed in the places where we think and create.  perhaps the sort of work that was so very right for us at 25 is less so–or not so–at 57.  certainly your practice of judaism should have taken different paths over time.  the spirit way of age 13 was not intended to last a lifetime (though the skills are!). ….meditate on your way in G’d now.  what jewish ways, which practices, which emphases continue to stoke the love of G’d but recognize how far you have come in your creative thought about the holy?

in atzilut….the world of nearness to G’d/intuition   among G’d’s great attributes is erech apayim,  ‘being slow to anger.’  it is not that anger is absent for those created in the image of G’d, but that it is very well tempered. i often teach the way of the Koretzer rebbe who taught that he had mastered his anger, placing it in his pocket.  when he had need of it, he could simply take it out.  how many of us have the presence of mind to live with anger but to control it so very well?  meditate on ‘being slow to anger’ until you see the chesed in it.

kinyan 2 of 48 ways to acquire Torah

Shmiat haOzen…Listening    we wear tzitzit in order not to be distracted and led astray by our eyes.  we are yet tempted by the bright, the fancy, the bigger…the badder….as hannibal lector famously points out “we begin by coveting that which we see  everyday.”  but the sparkly and brilliant often skips across the intellect without leaving much of a mark. interestingly, we have no such restraint on our hearing (at least not before the advent of the iPod) .  indeed, crucial mitzvot like shofar, and hearing the reading of Torah rely on an unimpeded ear….one is called upon to remove the foreskin of the ear in order that we may listen clearly.  the ‘central faith statement of the Jewish People’, the shema itself urges that we hear…..all the way into our hearts.  G’d set the exodus in motion when he heard the cries of the People…not when he saw their work.  so it is in the acquisition of Torah.  reading it silently in the fashion of modern scholarship will never penetrate to the heart, but hearing it, listening to the words as well as engaging the mind to come to understand the meaning  thereof is the way of grabbing the ‘good taking’ that G’d has revealed to us.

sefirat haOmer T-3: one way or another, you’re gonna find you

2 ways of counting: days and then weeks and days. and 2 ways of making it count more: mussar and kabbalah. it’s not at all that they are divorced from each other, and we will be doing a bit of both over the course of the 49 days. but i thought we should know a tad more about why we are doing a bit of each.

the way of mussar

the mussar way is based on contemplative practices, actions mapped to each day.  simply put, you do each spirit exercise in order to focus on and then clear away the accretions of habits, leanings, and just plain imbalances that prevent the inner light of your soul from shining forth.  just as in mainstream kabbalah, the crucial understanding is that each of us is a soul yearning for the G’dly.  hence it should be no surprise to any of us that major kabbalistic thinkers often are associated with the most powerful mussar texts….

and we are reminded of that  today as it just happens to be the yahrtzeit of r’ yosef karo, master halachist and kabbalist who worked no small amount of mussar  (derech eretz) into the weft of the warp he is best known for, the Shulchan Aruch.

there are a couple of touchstones for mussar in sefirat haOmer.

one springs from the Pirke Avot 6:6 where we learn that there are 48 kinyanei Torah, ie, 48 ways to acquire Torah.  48 is mighty close to 49, and the plan is to study 1 of the 48 each day of the counting, leaving the 49th day for review of the lot. we will touch on one of the kinyanim (or middot) each day.

the other approach stems from r’ elazar’s teaching, also in Avot, that the most important middah is a lev tov (a good heart), which has a gematria of 32.  so on each of the first 32 days of sefirat haOmer we will dwell on actions that improve relations ben adam l’chavero (between person and person), using the last 17 days to do mitzvot ben adam l’makom (between man and G’d).  those of you who remember lag b’omer, ie, the 33rd day of omer, will immediately see that it would correspond to the day on which the work changes from the human-human sphere to the human-divine sphere.  a lot of you may also notice that this 2-part approach parallels the work of the Days of Awe, during which we set things right with people before we can finish the setting aright with G’d.  we’ll try to honor this approach as well during the sefirah.

the way of kabbalah

the kabbalistic way is polymorphic, but focuses on a more purely mystical meditation or hitbonenut. we will try to relate each interincluded day (interinclusion is the all in one idea that each sefira comprises all the other sefirot within it) of the count to meditations rooted in the spiritual levels of the 4 worlds:

assiyah…the world of completion/doing associated with nefesh (the indwelling/resting soul)

yetzirah…the world of formation associated with ruach (the free will/turbulent soul)

b’riyah…the world of creation associated with neshamah (the renewable/breathing soul)

atzilut…the world of nearness to G’d associated with chayah (the life-force/living essence soul)

we will examine/contemplate on aspects of our existence that allow for the soul to shine forth and rise up through the levels of the worlds to get closer to our root in G’d.  ideally, these contemplative exercises will dovetail into the mussar practices more days than not!

so that is the sheaf of mindblowing, soulglowing methods we will ripen into for each of our days, shredding the husks that confine us as we swell in soul…nurturing our individual hearts of wisdom….readying better selves for the receipt of Torah again in Shavuot.

sefirat haOmer T-5: all in one, one in all

Norman Fischer seems to grasp the counting of the Omer in his lovely translation of Psalm 90:12:

“help me understand how to count my days…how to embrace my life…that i may nourish a heart of wisdom”

we have to count the days, AND we have to count the weeks.  it isn’t a simple count that gets you to a heart of wisdom, it seems.  oh, and that ‘how to embrace my life‘ part isn’t literally in the hebrew of the psalm at all….but boy is it ever in sefirat haOmer, in the understanding of counting the days.

we have to cycle and cycle again…7 days per week, 7 weeks (each of 7 days) for the whole of sefirat haOmer.  and in each day we have a reciprocating cycle of interactions of sefirah that is in sefirah.  7 paired interactions, 1 pair per day,  of sefirot in each other ; every week focusing on another of the sefirot as the dominant aspect of the week, and working through the 7 sets of interactions each has with each other.

chesed with gevurah with tiferet with netzach with hod with yesod with malchut….working through each interaction down the tree…but simultaneously up from selflessness in chesed to majesty in malchut.

so while we will follow the interaction of each sefirah in every other sefirah as we move down the lower 7 of the etz chaim, we will with every day of week add up to a week. we move down the sefirot as we count up the days…not unlike the angels of Yaacov’s vision of the ladder:

“….and here, messengers of G’d were going up and down on it'” (Genesis 28:12)

up and down, back and forth, each in each to each from each.  our messengers from G’d are found in the way we interact with ourselves and the world, for in our spiritual character, our emotional responses, our ethical ways of interacting that we find our clear vision of G’d in the world.  it is in the aspects of ourselves as affected by all else that we find the image of G’d in which we have been uniquely created.

to sum up, we perceive G’d in the world according to how we relate with the world in all its myriad differences.

let’s make it simple, yes? say we have a family of 7, from 2 grandparents through 2 parents with 3 kids.  we will be exploring the affect of the grandfather on himself, the grandmother on the grandfather, the father on the grandfather, the mother on the grandfather, the eldest child on the grandfather, the middle child on the grandfather, and the youngest child on the grandfather.  that is 1 week. then we do the same with each on the grandmother, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.

we all of us understand that each is affected by every other in a family, right?  and maybe that the dynamic of the interactions between them is more than the mere sum of the parts?  each of us is more than just the sum of our encounters with each other and the world…..but in each encounter all are touched, and from each touch we affect our next touch of another…up and down, back and forth, cycling each in each to each from each.

hugs all round, i say, and somewhere in that embrace of life we will each find that heart of wisdom that we were born to nourish.

sefirat haOmer T-6, but not yet counting

today we start to countdown to the time we begin to count up…again…as Leviticus 23:15 requires we should:

“You shall count for yourselves…from the day when you bring the Omer of the waving…7 weeks, they shall be complete.”

we count up 49 days and the 7 weeks from the night of the second day of Pesach (feast of passover) right up to the night before the festival of Shavuot (feast of weeks…get it?!)…itself the 50th day.  jubilation!

the simple mitzvah is literally to say a blessing and count each night for the full 7 weeks. you will find the text of the blessing and the formula for the counting the Omer in just about any siddur….take a look. now, we have been minding these 49 days every year since the exodus from egypt, for we know from Torah that it took 49 days for the People to reach Sinai and to encounter the beginning of the Torah journey that has been our walk ever since.

but numbering alone hasn’t been enough for spiritual jews for centuries.  the Israelites began the work of walking out of spiritual bondage into freedom, and since then we have seen the time between Pesach and Shavuot as a long march of self-reflection and self-redirection–‘count for yourselves’–much like the instruction to Avraham Avinu to ‘lech l’cha’ or ‘go toward yourself”.  it is a time for reaching into our emotions, our opinions, our acts and efforts…for reaching into our very souls.  we try to build up our character traits; build up our prayer ability;  build up our ability to love one another; build up our ability to be closer to G’d.  we build our abilities to ascend Sinai one day at a time; week by week.

and the kabbalists among us recognized that the  7 weeks corresponded to the 7 ’emotional’ sefirot from chesed through malchut.  each week is associated with 1 major sefirah:  and since each sefira contains the aspects of all the others, each day focuses on the affect of another of the 7 sefirot on that week’s major sefirah.  for those of you with the tree of life in hand, take a look.  we will speak more of the plan in the day’s leading up to Pesach.

what we will try to do this season here at walkinTorah is offer thoughts, meditations, emotional and spiritual exercises…and encouragement!… to help all of us reach into ourselves daily in order to open out to the world of G’d’s creation more fully as each day and each week passes.

for those who are members of congregation beth shalom–and you know who you are–we will try to meet each sunday morning EXCEPT on 8 April 2012, which is the the second day of Pesach (and the first day of the Omer count), to share the week past and prep for the week to come.  for those who join us but can’t do the face-to-face meetings, we’ll try to make sure that enough information is published daily on walkinTorah to help you keep up the pace.

let us go then, you and i, when the evening is spread out against the sky…..and learn to measure out our lives in more than coffee spoons!